maia bittner

Makes me squeamish and deeply unsatisfied whenever I do something awesome and people tell me I'm beautiful

Fri, 25 May 2012 15:00:00 -0700

Makes me squeamish and deeply unsatisfied whenever I do something awesome and people tell me I'm beautiful:

Graduation season has triggered some memories for me, memories of sitting in my friend’s backyards as their parents toasted their futures and we lavished well wishes upon each other.

But specifically, I remember hearing time and again my female friends being complimented thusly: “You are such a beautiful, smart, talented young woman, and I couldn’t be more proud.”

I have one request for anyone with a graduating daughter/sister/friend—do not praise her appearance as the first thing in your toast. Don’t mention her appearance at all.

Teaching young women that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. By telling her that she is “beautiful, smart, talented” (and believe me, it is almost always said in that order), you are suggesting—if unconsciously—that it’s most important she not lose her looks. You are prizing her face and body above her accomplishments and hard work. In a world where over 50% of young women say they’d rather be hit by a truck than be fat, this mindset isn’t something that should be encouraged, especially at such memorable events.

This has been a post.

"People will underweight the opportunity costs of car ownership, and possibly other less salient..."

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 12:30:22 -0700

“People will underweight the opportunity costs of car ownership, and possibly other less salient aspects such as depreciation, and may overweight the very salient costs of using a taxi.”

- Nudge, by Thaler & Sunstein. But, I could have told you that

Heartbreaking Ordeal

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:19:00 -0700

Heartbreaking Ordeal:

If you wanted to most incite my disgust at how deeply fucked our medical industry is due to politics, bureaucracy, and greed, you would also violate women’s rights while doing it. This story is so, so sad.

Political culture war on women has real, dire consequences | NJ.com

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 13:39:16 -0700

Political culture war on women has real, dire consequences | NJ.com

"However: one of the things I’ve found over and over is that a lot of really awesome technical..."

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 23:40:25 -0800

“

However: one of the things I’ve found over and over is that a lot of really awesome technical information is transmitted casually and *socially*, rather than at work. So, people are talking about what they are most passionate about (and therefore what is most cutting edge) over beers after work, at D&D gaming session, while playing video games, hanging out at each other’s houses, and so on. The younger the group, the more likely that hangout time is blended with intermittent but intense work talk. Older people tend to have families so this isn’t as prevalent once you’re 30+. However, it’s often the younger crowd who is willing to invest their time in volatile and risky startups.

I know of a few young groups of friends who lived together in mixed-gender houses of geeks, and the girls, being there all the time, got the benefit of ongoing off-hours geekery. I know of many other groups of programmers who are primarily men, and those groups can be hard to break into socially. It’s not that they’re not friendly - they are. It’s just that the tech conversation is going on constantly, and as a woman, you’re going to miss a significant % of it by virtue of not being there.

Furthermore, if you date someone in the group and break up with them, chances are you’re not a solid member of the group anymore. Whoops! You’ve just lost access to a whole host of awesome technical information, and your boyfriend at the same time.

Straight men don’t really have to consider any of this - they’re just going out for beers with the guys, talking about what they’re interested in, and keeping their tech friends, often for life. The women are invited to come along sometimes, and not others. (Of course, there are plenty of lovely fun things that women can do together too, but I find that there is less likely to be abundant and deep technical information.)

”

- This quote is a comment on Why Diversity Matters (the meritocracy business), an article about biases in hiring process that I’ve sent to many friends (especially those with any influence on recruiting practices in their company). I recently sent the article to a friend at Yelp, who said the ensuing argument on the recruiting list was a firestorm.

I hadn’t ever read the comments before, but Richa sent me the above quote this afternoon. She felt it particularly resonated with her, and noted that she is often blind to these systemic problems since her life is so deeply ingrained in them. I agree completely… but on the other hand, this evening my house of four women were discussing the differences between different DBMSes, Django structure, and HTML5 (that’s when I had to jump in and join the conversation).

PS: If you want to hire more technical women, Debbie posted the excellent press release TOP TEN SOLUTIONS TO RECRUIT TECHNICAL WOMEN IDENTIFIED IN NEW RESEARCH REPORT FROM ANITA BORG INSTITUTE this afternoon.

Comics

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:01:52 -0800

Oddly enough, the last three books I’ve read have been about comics, in some way or another. I highly recommend all of them.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon is a Pulitzer Prize winning novel written about two young artists living in the New York during World War II, the glory days of comic books.
Paying For It by Chester Brown is “a comic-strip memoir about being a john”. Chester is hyper-logical, a little awkward, and reminds me of myself and many of my friends. He shows the process by which he becomes disillusioned with romantic love, decides that girlfriends are too much drama and starts visiting prostitutes, in an explicit but never erotic series of comic strips. It’s fascinating to see how he conducts himself, what worries him, how he justifies his choices to his concerned friends, and the situation he ends up.
Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud is a comic book about the history and style of comics. It was recommended to me because many of the effects that comics use are applicable beyond the world of comic books (obviously, my specific interest is in web design).

Some time ago, I posted about An Irrational Guide to Gifts which...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:41:00 -0800

Some time ago, I posted about An Irrational Guide to Gifts which said that the best gifts were ones that the recipient wanted, but felt too guilty to buy.

My dad buys a coffee every day with his Starbucks Gold card, which rewards him with a free drink for every 15 drinks purchased. He sends the free drink coupons along to me, because he’s my daddy and he likes me. and I really think they’re some of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten, potentially because they fill Dan Ariely’s requirements. I can get whatever it is I most want, with zero guilt. So I get (what would be stupidly expensive) venti, 3-shot soy dirty chais w/ light water.

My dad also gets me Starbucks cards as gifts. These don’t make me near as happy, because I always get a short drip with them, knowing that’s the way to get the most number of drinks “free” from my card. Having a gift card doesn’t relieve the guilt of spending money. I like black coffee — but it’s probably 80% of what I’m looking for from Starbucks.

I wish I could alleviate the guilt I have with most of the finite use gifts I receive. I love the Triplus Fineliner pens I got for Christmas, but I don’t use them as much as I’d like to, because I know just how much they cost. Any ideas?

My rdio account is linked to my Facebook profile, and posts all...

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:27:30 -0800

My rdio account is linked to my Facebook profile, and posts all the music I listen to. Some critics of this (and the many similar services) say they are invasive, and that they don’t want everyone to know, e.g. what music they listen to.

I like it though! I think it can help us become more comfortable with who were are and accepting of everybody else. Quite recently, I’ve been getting really frustrated that my friends and other people I know just blindly circulate this narrow social standard of coolness that we all seem to, unwillingly, be held to. I’m astonished how much flak I get for going to bed early on a saturday, getting a mocha from starbucks, or listening to Taylor Swift — pretty inconsequential things! Further, I know my friends!! I know that they’re kind of weird and have their faults and are a little bit lame about some things… just like everyone else.

Anyway, I guess my point is that if that little insecure voice inside of us causes us to really think that everyone else is perfect and cool and happy, maybe my rdio posts and foursquare checkins will be a voice that talks back and says “Hey, I’m Maia. Parts of me align with your idea of what’s cool, and parts of me don’t, and that’s who I am. and that’s ok, and you know, whoever you are — that’s ok too”

Self-driving cars: Yes, please! Now, please!

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:10:00 -0800

Self-driving cars: Yes, please! Now, please!:

The more I bike, the more I support autonomous vehicles. Car drivers just seem so oblivious; my prototypical car driver is stopped, looking around with a panicked expression for where the siren is coming from, but the siren isn’t coming from anywhere, it is here, it is stopped and waiting for you to stop blocking the intersection you asshole. I just can’t believe how surprised they are all the time, surprised to see the milliseconds I’ve missed their flung-open car door by, surprised they’re stuck in the middle of the intersection when the light turns red, surprised to see a pedestrian crossing in the crosswalk when they want to turn right. Don’t they drive often enough to not be constantly surprised by the changing world around them? I feel like I need to rap on their windows and yell “Hey! Your car is heavy, and can move quickly. Please be careful and pay attention with it”

"exploring and embracing the idea that dance through the ages has always offered participants the..."

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:31:35 -0800

“exploring and embracing the idea that dance through the ages has always offered participants the liberty to explore all kinds of identity performance — including gender-as-performance.”

- Harmonix on Gender, Self-Expression, in Dance Central

Denmark voted best OECD country for work/life balance

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 09:07:00 -0800

Denmark voted best OECD country for work/life balance:

The US was ranked 23rd… last.

Gender Stereotypes Hurt Everyone

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:58:00 -0800

I’m Mad at You Because You’re an Idiot, Not Because I’m a Woman is being posted all over my Facebook newsfeed now. In it, Litsa Dremousis explains how when she became angry in response to men’s actions, the men attributed her anger as stemming from her emotional womanhood, and not due to the situation at hand. She rallies:

it’s time for more men to understand our behavior isn’t aberrant, and for more women not to feel “guilty” for not staying in the narrow range of traditionally accepted emotional responses

Though I agree with the article, I think it’s important to recognize that men are also limited in the emotions they feel they can exhibit. While women’s emotional responses, especially being sad, angry, and upset, are sometimes viewed as being caused by their gender, men live in fear of having their gender called into question if they exhibit the emotional responses that women are free to, like being loving and caring.

A thoughtful post by Clarisse Thorn on the subject references Precarious Manhood^(PDF), a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2008. It reports on the sober state of being a man:

Our findings suggest that real men experience their gender as a tenuous status that they may at any time lose and about which they readily experience anxiety and threat.

As a result, many people are reluctant to show their true emotions if they lie outside of the expected emotions of their gender. It becomes more important to them to focus on the stereotype by rejecting or reinforcing it. In either case, it harms the person by taking the focus away from their emotions. How sad is that, that our culture is so loathe to recognize nonconforming human emotions? Thorn writes:

And if we can reject the Oppression Olympics for just one minute and stop thinking about who’s got it worse, it becomes clear that the advantages and drawbacks associated with being both male and female are intertwined. The two systems reinforce, and cannot function without, each other.

An Irrational Guide to Gifts

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 08:38:28 -0800

An Irrational Guide to Gifts:

I just finished Predictably Irrational, a birthday gift from Bennett. I loved it, for the same reason people usually enjoy books — I learned a couple things and it reinforced many of my existing beliefs :) But seriously, I think Dan Ariely presented many pop sci findings that are extremely relevant to daily life. Because of this, I’m delighted to see that his explanation for a good gift: one that the recipient wants, but would feel too guilty to buy.

(via lilzet)

I’m putting together a Christmas gift for my sister of...

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 08:49:00 -0800

Cute printed reusable produce bag

Vat of Papalote's roasted tomato salsa

Local/In-season cookbook

Reusable produce bags (farmer's markets!

I’m putting together a Christmas gift for my sister of local food products. So far I have a fresh jar of Papalote salsa, a signed copy of BiRite’s Eat Good Food, cookbook/local shopping guide, some reusable produce bags , and I’m going to “wrap” it all in a printed produce bag. Future purchases may include Cowgirl Creamery cheese, Blue Bottle coffee, Napa valley wine, Hummus Guy hummus, Tcho chocolate, and sourdough bread, though I’m worried how some of these will keep/travel.

I’m posting because I’ve written the above list for a lot of fellow SF transplants who’ve liked the idea for their own foodies at home, and I thought it might be useful for more people!

PS: If you want to get a copy of Eat Good Food signed, there are 2 events this week! Check their calendar for the details.

I recently got the chance to attend Tesla Motor’s launch...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:16:00 -0700

Brian & I under the Tesla sign

Alpha model. No-emissions: test indoors!

Assembly robots

Wheeling out the clay model

Battery pack

I recently got the chance to attend Tesla Motor’s launch party for their Model S Beta. The party was held at their Fremont factory, where the cars will be produced. We could not get over how beautiful the factory was — the branding was spot-on. All the manufacturing robots were painted in bright Tesla red, the floors were glossy white, and all the accents were stark white or Tesla gray. Getting this behind the scenes look reminded me of taking apart my iPhone: beautiful things still look beautiful when you see how they’re made.

Tried to snag some good pictures to share, but I only had my phone. You can see more (with videos! and panoramas!) on Flickr.

"A designer who does not write markup and css is not designing for the web, but drawing pictures."

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 10:36:02 -0700

“A designer who does not write markup and css is not designing for the web, but drawing pictures.”

- Andy Rutledge, Web Design is Product Design (via jonathanmoore)

I just don’t understand how Boston weather is compatible...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:26:27 -0700

I just don’t understand how Boston weather is compatible with human habitation

Last weekend I went to Big Sur, which was gorgeous and amazing....

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 15:29:00 -0700

Last weekend I went to Big Sur, which was gorgeous and amazing. My favorite part was actually the Henry Miller Library; I wrote up my experiences with it in a yelp review. You can see my pictures in a set on flickr, and I tried to capture the vast wonder with some photosynth panoramas of brian, sand dollar beach, and the bixby bridge.

We’re going back this weekend. Wanna come?

Humans as Sensors: Visualizing the spread of earthquake tweets

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 11:55:36 -0700

Humans as Sensors: Visualizing the spread of earthquake tweets:

via Marco

"The recent fuss over the over-sharing, over the loss of privacy is just noisy ignorance. You know,..."

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:50:09 -0700

“The recent fuss over the over-sharing, over the loss of privacy is just noisy ignorance. You know, as a citizen of the Internet, you obfuscate the truth of your character. You hide your fears and transgressions and vulnerable yearnings for meaning, for purpose, for connection. In a world where you can control everything presented to an audience both domestic or imaginary, what is laid bare depends on who you believe is on the other side of the screen. You fret over your father or your aunt asking to be your Facebook friend. What will they think of that version of you? In flesh or photons, it seems built-in, this desire to conceal some aspects of yourself in one group while exposing them in others. You can be vulnerable in many different ways but not all at once it seems.”

- From one of my favorite blogs, you are not so smart, in an article on how we view our own actions as being context-dependent, but others as less versatile.